We all know what anger or frustration is and we have all felt it, either as fleeting or outright fury. In this article, we’ll go through a quick anger test that will show 4 main reasons why some get angrier or more frustrated than others. We will also discuss 3 steps to control or manage your anger and frustration.

What is anger?

Anger is a completely normal and generally healthy human emotion. However, when we lose control of this emotion and it becomes destructive, it can cause many problems at work, in personal relationships and in the general quality of life. It can make you feel like you’re on the receiving end of an unpredictable and powerful emotion.

Anger is an emotional state that varies in intensity. It ranges from mild irritation to intense fury and anger. Like other emotions, it is accompanied by psychological and biological changes. When you get angry, your heart rate and blood pressure go up, and so does your level of the energy hormones adrenaline and norepinephrine.

Anger can be caused by external or internal events. You may be angry with a specific person (such as a co-worker or supervisor) or something that has happened (traffic jam, a canceled flight), or your anger may be caused by being worried or morose about your personal problems. Memories of traumatic or angry events can also trigger angry feelings.

Why do some people get angrier than others?

Some people actually get more aroused than others, getting angry more easily and more intensely than average. Also, there are those who do not show their anger by yelling but are chronically irritable and moody. People who get angry easily don’t always insult and throw things; sometimes they become socially withdrawn, bitter, or ill.

People who get angry easily often have what psychologists call low frustration tolerance, which means they feel they shouldn’t be subject to frustration, irritation, or inconvenience. They cannot take things in stride and become enraged, especially if the situation seems unfair in some way, for example, when they are corrected for a minor mistake.

What makes these people like this? There are several factors. A factor may be of genetic or physiological origin. There is evidence that some children are born irritable, sensitive and easily angered, and these signs are present from a very early age. Another factor may be associated with the way they are taught to deal with anger. Anger is often seen as something negative; many of us are taught that it is okay to express anxiety, depression, and other emotions but that it is not okay to express anger. As a result, we don’t learn how to handle it or channel it constructively.

Research also found that family history plays an important role. Generally, people who get angry easily come from troubled, chaotic families with no capacity for emotional communication.

So to summarize – why may you get angrier than others? Our anger test revealed it may be for one or more of the following 4 reasons:

1. Low frustration tolerance

2. Genetic origins

3. Physiological origins

4. Family history

3 steps to control your anger (anger management)

The natural and instinctive way to express anger is to respond aggressively. Anger is a natural response that adapts to threats, inspiring intense, often aggressive feelings and behaviors that allow us to fight back and defend ourselves when we feel attacked. Therefore, to survive a certain degree of anger is necessary.

On the other hand, we cannot physically attack every person or object that irritates or annoys us. Laws, social norms, and common-sense place limits on how far we can allow ourselves to take our enjoyment.

People use a variety of conscious and unconscious processes to deal with their angry feelings. Here are 3 ways to deal with anger:

1.      Express your anger without aggression

Expressing your angry feelings firmly but without aggression is the healthiest way to express anger. To do so, you must learn how to make your needs clear and how to fulfill them without hurting others. Being firm does not mean being arrogant or demanding; it means respecting yourself and others.

2.      Convert or redirect your anger

Another way to deal with this reaction is to suppress the anger and then convert or redirect it. This happens when you contain your anger, stop thinking about it, and instead focus on doing something positive. The goal is to inhibit or suppress your anger and turn it into much more constructive behavior. The danger in this type of response is that it does not allow you to externalize your anger, and may remain in your internal forum. The anger that stays inside you can cause hypertension, high blood pressure, or depression.

Unexpressed anger can lead to other problems. It can lead to expressions of pathological anger such as passive-aggressive behavior (taking it out on people indirectly, without telling them why, rather than up front) or a long-lasting hostile and cynical attitude. People who are constantly putting others down, criticizing everything, and making cynical comments have not learned how to express their anger constructively. Not surprisingly, then, to find that they are not likely to establish successful relationships.

3.      Calm down inwardly

Finally, you can calm down on the inside. This means not only controlling your outward behavior but also controlling your internal responses by taking steps to slow your heart rate, calm down, and let the feelings pass.

Anger management

The goal of anger management is to reduce your emotional feelings and the physiological arousal it causes. If you can’t get rid of or avoid or change the things or people that make you angry, you can learn to control your reactions.

Are you too angry?

There are psychological tests that measure the intensity of angry feelings, how prone to anger you are, and how well you can handle it. There is a good chance that if you have an anger problem, you already know it. If you feel that you are acting in ways that seem out of control and are alarming, you may need help finding better ways to deal with this emotion.

Is it good to unleash anger?

Psychologists now say that this is a dangerous myth. Some people use this theory as a license to hurt others. Research has shown that venting actually increases anger and aggression and doesn’t help you (or the person you’re angry with) resolve the situation at all.

It’s better to find out what triggers your anger and then develop strategies to prevent those triggers from causing you to lose control.

Need help?

If you feel like your anger is really out of control, if it is affecting your relationships and important parts of your life, you may want to consider counseling to learn how to better manage your anger. A psychologist or other licensed mental health professional can work with you to develop various techniques to change your thinking and behavior.

When you talk to a therapist, tell them you have anger issues you want to work on and ask about their approach to managing anger. Make sure this isn’t just a course of action designed to help you connect with and express your feelings. That may be precisely your problem.

Psychologists maintain that with medical help, a person who becomes very angry can approach a medium anger range in about 8 to 10 weeks, depending on the circumstances and the counseling techniques used.